sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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