Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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