If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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