its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize