I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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