when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
