just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
