Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm just crazy horny about you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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