This girl is more easily done than said...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Shame - the story of my life.
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