you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
