would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he thought i was a dude.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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