so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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