hell yes lets make some ravioli
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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