Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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