she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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