he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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