I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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