Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
