She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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