shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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