Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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