It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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