Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
