To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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