I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Green mimosas i think yes
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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