I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
