Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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