Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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