Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
