I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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