Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
third nipple confirmed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
