Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
