I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
