the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
