he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
