wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
