When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
