I need to stop coming to work sober
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
