we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It was like getting head from an anaconda
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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