I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
