She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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