Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
