used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
