i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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