My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
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after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
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My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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