just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
