So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
