Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize