on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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