Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
