Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize