I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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