What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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