Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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