There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
