just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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