Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
