i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize