My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
