He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
